Passenger - Let Her Go [Official Video]

I must say that I hate dating, I don't think its fun at all. We all are looking for the one and it seems to take a lot to find that one that we are all meant to be with. How will I know if the one got away because I didn't want to go on the emotional roller coaster that was becoming a trend. Maybe just maybe I learned something from this about myself and about how this world works but then again maybe not. To learn to let go of something even though I wanted it so bad, and that my friends is part of growing up and  With every life lesson and heart break we grow from it and change even if we don't want to, but it happens. I in fact have grown a lot from mike breaking my heart after telling me that he wanted a divorce. My world was crushed and I thought that I wasn't going to be able to go on, but guess what I picked the pieces up of that broken heart and amended it back together even though I hated him and didn't want anything to do with him for awhile. I have to admit that because he did what he did that I was going to punish him by keeping him from talking to the kids or even getting pictures of them. Because I felt that he didn't deserve it. He did this to us and its all his fault. But after awhile I started to heal my heart and realized that that's not right and I was actually in the wrong for doing that. But I didn't want anything to do with him if I didn't have to talk to him it made my life a little bit easer to deal with what was going on. It wasn't fair to the kids either but I was hurting and didn't really know how to deal with what was going on around me. He was my everything, my world and after 10 years I had to learn to be without him and know that it wasn't perfect like I thought that it was. I had to learn to let go of him and the life that I once had it was over and I will never have it back, but With time I healed and moved on with my life.  Then after moving on from this I had doubts at first since I was really afraid to get my heart broken again because it was hard to get over the first one. But it happens everyone gets their heartbroken but its part of life. And it happened again, here we go again, another heart break now what do I do. The same thing get up and deal with it and maybe not fall so quickly next time. Sometimes though you just can't help who we fall for, it is what it is, its going to happen just learn to let go. I am now waiting for the next one to break my heart and than again another damn lesson to be learned. I just wish I knew what lessons they were to be learned from. Maybe its just time to let go of it and then maybe someday I will realize why I had to let go of it whatever it maybe have been.

Sara Evans - A Little Bit Stronger (+playlist)

How do I cope with that

You think that everything is fine and maybe its a little to perfect and then bang,it wasn't perfect anymore. And now You wait for him to text and call but he never does, every time the text tone goes off you jump and run to the phone thinking that maybe just maybe he changed his mind, but he didn't. But as the days pass, day by day you loose hope, you start thinking and wondering what went wrong, what did I do to make him not want to be with me anymore. Its amazing how one thing can change everything, one second and one word can change the outcome of so much. How do I get on with life when I feel like the world has crashed on my head once again. How do you know when your right for someone or vice versa? I guess only time will tell that part, nobody really knows until we are upon it. Even though my heart is broken, It will amend again with time. Although I still believe in fairytales but the fairy tales never tell you about the many heart breaks that you may face in life. Some may hurt more than others and some may not hurt at all. With all the hurt that you have endured in such a short period of time you become guarded from love because you have been hurt to much and can't let it happen again. If that guy hurt me, what's this one capable of doing to me. Relationships don't always end up in a perfect happily ever after like they do in fairy tales. We all would like to believe that they do, then love would be as simple as the story of Cinderella, But its reality and it usually doesn't end up like that. So we get up and move on with life and try to keep busy so we don't think about him. The simple fact that it doesn't help that everywhere you go you see his vehicle or that you see the places that you went together and the memories that you shared. Even where you first met is everywhere you go because its the way you come home from work and go to work every day, it used to make you smile and now it just makes you sad. Guess I better find a new route to and from work so I don't have to see it everyday and think about him.

Katy Perry - Part Of Me

I love my family :)

As we all head towards the new challenges and adventures in this new life that we have found ourselves in. The kids and I are finally starting to get settled in our new home. It maybe small but its our space that we can learn to love, its smaller than what we are used too but its cute and perfect for us 3. I never imagined my life going in this direction, but its here and I am embracing every many memory it has to offer me, looking in to positive changes that I am making in my life and the kids life. Life is way to short to dread on the past and dwell on it. whatever happened in the past happened and theres nothing that I can do to change it, so I have to look forward to the future and whatever may come towards the kids and my way, who knows you never know what the future holds until its upon you. Maybe there is a fairytale out there somewhere but until then keep moving forward not backwards. My baby will start kindergarten in 2 weeks, I can't believe that she will be a kindergartener this year, and aiden will be a second grader. Wow, how the time has flown by I feel like these past couple of years have just flown by. These two kids have grown so much in the past 1 and half years that they amaze me everyday. We are now working on schedules and madisyn is starting to get the hang of it going to bed at 9:00 pm every night instead of whenever she wants to go to bed. She seems to be starting to get the hang of it and the fact that she gets to put stickers on a chart for a treat motivates her even more. Aiden is working on not wearing pull ups at night time and not peeing the bed at night time. He is on week 2 of not peeing in his bed so that's going well. I think he just needed his space with his own room and our own house to help launch him. So right now aiden and madisyn are working on getting to go to chucky cheeses but they have to earn a lot more stickers to get to go. The more things that they do the more stickers they earn and the faster they get to go. As I look back in the past year, I have achieved many great things and accomplished a lot more than I ever thought that I ever could. My family has been there every step towards a new me and has helped me in more ways than I could ever repay them. Each and everyone of them has helped in so many ways that they may not even know that they helped but they did. I am so thankful for each and everyone of them without any of them I don't know where I would be right now, probably lost and have no idea where to go next. But because of them I am a much stronger person and ready for this new adventure to start. So lets move forward and look towards more positive outlooks. Remember to smile you never know whose day you may have changed by just a smile, even though its a small gesture, It could change someone's whole outlook on the day.

review of chocolate frosted flakes

Guess what came in the mail today? Yes, we received our bzzagent package that had our chocolate frosted flakes. I hope they taste as good as they look, we shall see. I gave the kids the chocolate frosted flakes the following morning for breakfast, aiden gave them a thumbs up he loved them said they turned the milk chocolaty yum. I had a bite of the kids, and thought they tasted pretty good they tasted a lot better than I had expected them too. Madisyn is not a huge fan of cereal but I wanted her to try them to see if she would eat them. She said they were good but she liked them better without milk. I will more than likely buy this cereal again in the future, and put it in snack bags for Madisyn to eat as a snack. So I will get two purposes out of the cereal one for breakfast and the second for a snack. Most people would think yuck that sounds disgusting but it kind of tasted just like crunchy chocolate cereal. If you have a chocolate lover in your house like we do our son, I suggest trying this yummy but delicious cereal.

The mountain

I have never wanted something so bad in a long time. The test or as I called it my mountain that I needed to conquer to get our lives back on track again. And if I failed this thing again I would look at myself as a failure. How does something like one test determine your faith and determine your future? Yea I graduated from nursing school but that wasn't the end of it I still have to pass this test, and until I did I haven't accomplished my dream of being a nurse. So on April 2 2013 I went to the Pearson vue center in Renton and checked in to take this test. The test or the mountain that I called it, I was going to pass this time around. I sat down relaxed and took my time I was cut off at number 135 and freaked out thinking that. Maybe I really did pass this time around or maybe I did so bad that I couldn't even come back from it. So I waited and waited kept checking the nursing boards just to see if it had changed and to my surprise it didn't kept saying pending "maybe I did fail" so the next day I checked in the morning nothing later that day checked and it changed under my name it said active. Holy crap I did it this time I did it I have accomplished it. I am a licensed practical nurse. I was so excited that my kids were the first to know and they both gave me high five and were so happy for me. They alone made my day . In this journey my kids have learned a lot how u can do anything that u set your mind too and that failing doesn't necessarily mean you failed, and that when you fail you get up and you try again, being successful doesn't always come the first time around for some and sometimes like me it takes a little bit more determination to get to that goal no matter what it is. I truly believe that everything does happen for a reason. Maybe this was a test or a lesson in disguise.